


That's Not ASMR

by Quefish



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: ASMR, Aziraphale loves eating, But there is nothing sexual happening TO Aziraphale, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Deceptive Human, Feeding, Feeding Kink, Gen, I'm going to say Non-con because Aziraphale isn't aware, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish
Summary: Aziraphale has a new acquaintance who is asking for specific ASMR, Crowley doesn't trust him. Crowley gets protective when a human exploits Aziraphale.I put a non-con in the tags, because Aziraphale doesn't know/understand what is happening. It is technically non-con, but not in the traditionally thought of sense, is why I didn't use an archive warning.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

2013

Crowley looked at the commendation he just received. "What the Heaven is ASMR?" 

~~~~~

2015

Crowley let himself into the bookshop. It was nice to be away from the Dowlings for the week. Good to be able to meet with Aziraphale and not sneak around the grounds to do it. The sign was set to Closed, but the door opened and the bell rang overhead. He heard a very annoyed grumble.

"Mr Fell, you assured me that the door was locked and there would be complete privacy. This recording is ruined."

Crowley's eyebrows pulled in at anyone taking that tone with the angel and he made his way to the back room. What recording? What was Aziraphale up to? And what was that smell? There was a sound of things being packed away.

"I am terribly sorry, Mr Brown. The sign was turned but the lock may have slipped. I'm happy to try again another time?"

"Yes, I would like that. Please contact me at your earliest convenience and we will try again."

Crowley came around the corner and saw a young man packing away a camera and microphone. Aziraphale looked slightly dismayed at the table, which was laden with a number of foods. Nothing that made sense as a meal, though. There were a few bites missing from a few dishes.

The young man packing things away looked up and Crowley finally figured out the scent. It was Lust. The man finished packing away and Aziraphale asked if any of the food needed to go with him as well. The man’s Lust spiked for barely a second before he looked at Crowley again and shook his head. “No, Mr Fell, that is yours. You have my card, yes?”

Aziraphale saw him to the door before coming back to take a seat at the table again. Most of the items in front of him weren’t his usual fare, but chosen for their texture. He selected a few things to stay and then whisked the rest to a local shelter, neatly packaged in a large box. 

“What was all that about, Angel?” Crowley took his usual seat on whichever part of the sofa he landed on and watched the angel tuck in to the rest of the meal. He watched him eat, ears tweaked to the happy sounds.

“Oh, that lovely young man approached me yesterday, I was having lunch at the diner up the road. Said he’d like to take video of me eating for some sort of project. I found it odd, but he assured me this was a common thing these days.” Aziraphale moved on to a creamy soup, daintily sipping. “He showed me other videos of people just making sounds, it is very strange what humans find entertaining. So, of course, I agreed.” 

Crowley was only half listening, watching the angel make his way through the table. 

“It was odd though, he had very specific items for me to eat, said it made better sounds. He also complimented my table manners in a way that made me feel he rather didn’t like them at all. But in the end, he was happy getting his video.” Here Aziraphale looked up. “I feel terrible that it was ruined, I shall have to warn you ahead of time next time.”

Crowley nodded vaguely. Humans were strange. He waited for Aziraphale to finish eating before they began talking about Warlock, the state of the world, and enjoying some very good alcohol.

~~~~~

A few days later, Crowley received a call from Aziraphale, asking him to not come by the bookshop as he was going to be making a video for Mr Brown. Crowley let him know that he'd be by later in the evening instead and went about his day.

When he later arrived at the bookshop, Aziraphale seemed in fine spirits. “You get that video made?”

“Yes indeed! It was such a strange experience. The microphones, the camera; if the sound wasn’t quite right, he’d just feed me something else until it sounded right. I’ve no idea what this is for but-”

“Wait, did you say he fed you?”

“Yes, only two or three times, he’d be listening and watching on the camera and then he’d have a fork of food for me to try instead.”

Crowley started to get an uncomfortable feeling. “Look, Angel, were you supposed to do any more?”

“Oh, yes! He asked to come by day after tomorrow as well.” 

“D’you mind if I come by? I’d like to see his set up. I got a commendation for ASMR, I’d like to see what it is.” Aziraphale’s eyes widened at the implication that this was something that Hell thought was a good idea and he was participating in it willingly. “I had nothing to do with it, it’s just the newest fad that is distracting people.”

Aziraphale relaxed and nodded. “I don’t mind at all, but as you’ve seen, Mr Brown is very specific about conditions. I’m not sure he’d appreciate-”

“He’ll never know I’m here, Angel. Totally silent. I’ll stay upstairs, he doesn’t even have to know.”

Aziraphale dithered a moment before agreeing. “Very well. It is an interesting process, I can understand you wanting to learn more, especially since you've been awarded for it.”

The conversation went to happier topics, but Crowley still had a burning seed in his head.

~~~~~

“Right, Mr Fell, I can’t thank you enough for doing this again. Your first video was well enjoyed.” Aziraphale beamed innocently as Crowley watched silently from the upper floor. “I’ve brought some different foods, just let me know if any aren’t to your taste.”

“Oh, I think you’ll find that there is very little I don’t enjoy.” Aziraphale smiled and Crowley could scent the Lust again. “This all looks scrumptious. You simply must let me repay you, this couldn’t have been inexpensive.”

“Not at all, my pleasure, Mr Fell.” Crowley felt the Lust spike again and could see the smarmy smile of the man’s face. “Are you ready?”

Aziraphale sat forward and began to tuck in, making all of Crowley’s favorite sounds, thoroughly enjoying himself. He wasn’t paying attention to the human anymore, but Crowley was. He saw his watching Aziraphale closely, licking his lips, and now, he did spear a vegetable on a fork and held it out for Aziraphale. Aziraphale ate it, nodding with a smile, before going back to something else. This happened a number of times, Crowley watching as the human fed the angel, before a timer went off and the human shut off the camera with a smile.

“Perfect, Mr Fell. You are a natural.” 

Aziraphale smiled brightly, thanking the human for the opportunity and the entertainment.

“I may call on you again, if that’s alright?”

“Certainly! I’m happy to do it.” He walked Mr Brown to the door again and then came back to whisk the leftovers to the shelter.

“Angel, something’s not right.” Crowley came downstairs, more serious than usual.

“What is it? Do you think Warlock is-”

“Nothing to do with him. Something’s not right with that guy. I’m shocked you can’t feel it.”

“I don’t feel any deception from him, he genuinely just wants video and sounds of me eating.”

“I know, but I don’t think he wants it for what he says he does,”

“Oh nonsense, Crowley. What else would one possibly have use for a video like that for?”

~~~~~

Mr Brown visited three more times, each time he took the liberty to feed Aziraphale more and more often. Crowley watched each session, trying to figure it out.

It wasn’t until he was watching Aziraphale after the third session, enjoying those little sounds that he finally put it together. The human was enjoying those little sounds for himself. Crowley cut his visit with Aziraphale short, saying he had urgent demon business to get done. Aziraphale let him go with a cheery sendoff before finishing his meal and settling in with a book.

He was livid. He had done a little looking around into the whole ASMR thing and found it weird as fuck. Apparently some people got weird and tingly by listening to whispering, and eating, crinkling paper and other normal sounds. He shrugged it off, it was harmless after all and there was nothing wrong with humans enjoying it, but now someone was exploiting his best friend using that as a cover. That was unacceptable.

Crowley headed into an adult shop and made some inquiries in a loud and indiscreet way. “So, if I wanted to get a video of someone being fed, making all kinds of yummy noises, where would I look for that?”

It only took four shops before he got the lead he wanted. When he finally sniffed him down, Mr Brown was in the middle of feeding someone else on video. He stood watch as Mr Brown actually started rubbing himself over his trousers as the man ate. The gent didn’t seem to mind, upping his yummy sounds.

Crowley watched until the man finished and Mr Brown saw him out. Apparently this was his own flat. Made Crowley’s life easier. He calmly walked over to the door and gave a solid kick, opening it wide. Mr Brown scrambled to the other side of the room as Crowley menacingly stepped forward. 

“The blonde didn’t understand what you were asking for, did he?”

Mr Brown started to take a seat at the table until Crowley hissed at him. “N-n-no, he didn’t.”

“So you made up some shit about ASMR instead, didn’t you?” Mr Brown nodded and Crowley growled. “Who else?”

“Who else what?” Mr Brown stammered, trying to keep his legs under him.

“Who else has seen the videos of the blonde?”

“No one, they are for me.” Mr Brown was hoping that would get him some leniency, and thankfully it was the truth. He didn’t think this guy was the type to shrug things off.

“You will give every scrap of whatever you have of him to me. **Now.** ” He took off his sunglasses and allowed the yellow to bleed into the corners of his eyes.

Mr Brown paled and began babbling, praying to God and every Angel’s name he knew to protect him. 

“That’ll do you no good. I’m _already here_. They wouldn’t make it in time even if They cared. Now, give me what I want.”

The man scrambled around his flat, gathering the few thumb drives, camera and laptop it was all on and showed Crowley that he deleted them. 

“Nicely done. But, I’d like to make sure.” He summoned a bit of hellfire and melted every bit of electronics that Mr Brown said had been near Aziraphale. “Oh, and just for good measure,” Crowley snapped his fingers and the man’s eyes glazed over for a moment. “You’re not going to remember ever seeing him … and enjoy your nightmares.” 

He snapped his fingers again and the man came to, just as Crowley left the flat. He shook his head, feeling as though he was forgetting something before deciding to head to bed.

~~~~~

Crowley had just finished explaining to Aziraphale what had happened. “So, you were right, he wasn’t lying. He really did want videos of you eating and making those sounds you make, just not for the reason he told you.”

Aziraphale felt a bit sick to his stomach. “I’d never have guessed.”

“I know. And like I said, don’t worry, I took care of everything.” Crowley gave a grin that had just the right amount of malice.

“I do appreciate that, my dear. Very much.” Aziraphale nodded at Crowley with a small smile. “You never said, how did you figure it out?”

Crowley made a sound like stretched rubber. “Eeerrhhh, s’my job, right? To know the evil in men’s hearts and all that?”

“I suppose. But I know you’re hiding something. Hopefully someday you can tell me?”

“Someday, I might.”


	2. Aftermath and Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Crowley's visit.

David Brown hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in he couldn’t remember how long, maybe a few days a week he wouldn’t wake up in a cold sweat, but the rest of the time were nightmares. His nightmares were of yellow eyes, fire, and chewing sounds. That last bit unnerved him. He was a man with specific kinks and pleasures, and one was he liked feeding people, watching them eat. He’d even had an ad out in local shops to pay for discreet encounters, and was doing well for himself in having a few regulars he would eat with. 

~~~~~

After his first nightmare, he woke up and found the smoldering remains of all his AV equipment, but for the life of him couldn't remember what had happened to have them end up in that condition. He decided to give himself a ‘nightcap’ and pulled out one of his personal DVDs. He chose one of a beautiful young lady he’d only eaten with once, but she was delightful. He watched as he introduced her to the camera, and she smiled with a little wave.

He started his video, remembering young Stella fondly. She’d even asked to stay a bit longer, which was not on the video, but his memory was excellent. He stopped suddenly, her blonde hair and blue eyes making him uncomfortable. He switched out to a video of an older man, dark hair and eyes and David was able to relax. He enjoyed the video and headed back to bed wondering why he had a small knot of guilt in his stomach. Why did he feel guilty, he’d done nothing wrong.

The nightmares were random, sometimes right at the beginning of the night, sometimes the middle, and sometimes just before his alarm, but when they came, there was no chance he’d sleep any more that night. He was lucky enough to work from home, doing IT support, so not leaving his flat wasn’t a big deal. He got takeout delivered, and the odd groceries, but overall he wasn’t inclined to go out very often. 

~~~~~

It had been over two years of nightmares and his social life had suffered. He didn’t call his regulars very often, and he didn’t really have local friends to drag him out. His regulars had noticed that he didn’t seem to enjoy eating and feeding as much as he used to, but they still came around. David wondered if maybe he was just bored, having invited the same four or five people for a while now. He got showered, dressed, and headed out, looking for something interesting. He ended up heading to a nice Italian restaurant that had a bar. Maybe he’d be able to invite someone to eat with him.

The bar was a bust, but now he was legitimately hungry so took the table offered and went over the menu. He had an eye out, just in case he saw someone who looked like they needed company. He saw a gent sitting near the kitchen, side profile to him, and the other seat was empty. The gent looked like he enjoyed a good meal, but if he was almost done, it wouldn’t work at all. 

He looked friendly, but David waited. He put in his order for chicken Parmesan, Alfredo instead of tomato sauce, and sat with his glass of wine, watching the gent in the corner, trying to get an idea of him. A crisp green salad was placed in front of him and he looked up at the waitress, a charming smile gracing his face. He looked back to the gent.

He had the palest blond hair he’d ever seen, and every time he moved David felt like he’d met him before. The blonde looked up and gave a brilliant smile in his direction and David, surprised, raised his wine glass with a smile. He realized immediately his faux pas and wanted to die of embarrassment. The old ‘he was waving to someone behind you’ problem. His smile faltered and he felt his cheeks heat as the blonde’s eyes met his. 

David felt a jolt like he’d sat on a tack, or a pile of tacks, and he leapt out of his seat so fast it clattered behind him. He had never seen this man before but David was suddenly terrified. He’d stepped back right into a thankfully empty-handed waiter and felt steadying hands keeping him upright. 

He tried to break his stare from the blonde but he felt frozen. The blonde hadn’t moved from his seat at all as a lanky man joined him at the table. David barely even noticed as the lanky man turned to look at whoever had his companion’s attention, but once the man turned, David felt compelled to look up at him. A pair of dark sunglasses greeted him, and a smile that held no friendliness. 

The waiter was asking if he felt alright, if he wanted his meal packed to go, but David could only nod his head; he heard the waiter step away. He felt pinned in place and still couldn’t figure out why he was so afraid, and why he felt sick to his stomach with guilt. The standing man reached up and tilted his sunglasses down his nose and David saw the eyes from his nightmares staring unblinking back at him. His knees gave way and he landed on the floor.

He saw a chubby hand reach out and wrap itself around a thin forearm and he was finally able to look away as the man’s attention diverted. He was being helped up by strangers, and he heard an offer to call emergency services. He shook his head, “No, I’m fine. Sorry, just … anxiety attack.” 

He didn’t want to look back, he just wanted to get his food and go home to his flat. The box was put in his hands and he was walked to the front of the restaurant, the manager waving away his offers to pay. He turned to express his appreciation and out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the lanky man was staring at him again and the blonde was looking up at him, his hand still on his arm. 

David swallowed nervously, and he still didn’t know why. Those eyes must have been a hallucination. Why were they acting like they knew him? He looked away and expressed his appreciation and apologies again to the manager and staff who had helped him and made his way outside. He started walking but didn’t get too far before he had to sit down on a bench. 

He felt queasy, like he’d just escaped something, but that he had no right to escape. Like he was let go without paying his fines. His head dropped to his hands and he took deep breaths trying to figure out what the hell happened back there. As he sat, he heard footsteps heading his way and he looked up. 

He startled as he looked up and the blonde man was standing in front of him. “Look, mister, I’m sorry about that, not sure what happened, I didn’t mean to freak out looking at you. But I’m fine.” He gave the best smile he could while just wishing he’d go away.

The man folded his hands over his stomach and David shuddered. “No, you’re not, young man. But you’re as well as you could be under the circumstances. You did a terrible thing to me years ago, and I believe you’ve been paying the price for it. My companion disagrees with me, but I do believe you’ve paid enough.” He stepped closer and David cringed back.

“Look, I don’t know what I did, but please don’t hurt me.”

The blonde looked back to the lanky man who shrugged at him. “You know how I feel about it, Angel, but it’s up to you.”

The blonde nodded. “I know, my dear, and I do appreciate everything you do for me, but some things must come to an end.” His companion shrugged again.

The blonde snapped his fingers and David felt an odd lightness in his mind. “What did you do? Who _are_ you?”

“That doesn’t matter, I will only give you one piece of advice. If you choose to indulge in your proclivities, you will disclose your intentions and receive consent at all times.” The blonde leaned forward and his eyes seemed bright and hard. “I hope you take my meaning, young man?”

David nodded emphatically and then looked over to the man in sunglasses who was leaning against a light pole and looking over to the blonde in annoyed acceptance. He looked back to the blonde and flinched at the look in his eyes, feeling like he was looking into his soul. “Yes, Sir. I will.”

Suddenly he leaned back and smiled. “Excellent. I hope you have a good evening, then Mr Brown.”

He turned and walked back to the other man and touched his arm, turning him back to the restaurant. David heard them talking as they walked away. “Chicken Parmesan with Alfredo, I’d never thought to try it that way, I’m intrigued. Do you mind if we continue our dinner?”

“Of course not, Angel. They held our table.” He smirked down at the blonde, who chuckled as though that was an inside joke of some kind. 

~~~~~

David woke the next morning feeling more well rested than he had in years. He didn’t understand what happened the previous night, but he felt like he had a fresh start for some reason. He pulled out his leftovers and had breakfast as he made his plans for the day. He pulled out his laptop and went to a shopping site, buying a good spread of groceries for a local food bank, anonymously. 

He felt better already. Maybe he’d even call someone for a date, he suddenly felt like he was allowed to enjoy life again, and he couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like even though he was wrong, he needed his punishment and then to have paid his penalty.
> 
> Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think about this follow-up! :)

**Author's Note:**

> My kid was watching a Youtuber who does eating ASMR, which is weird to me when it's just sounds, let alone eating. But I started feeling really uncomfortable, like I know there are feeding kinks, and I'm not shaming that. But that people were taking this probably innocent person eating candy or lobster or whatever and it is their porn. Like I know everyone jokes around 'tag your porn', but it felt weird to me for some reason. And it got me to thinking about 'what ifs', and this came out. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think!


End file.
